singleness, my life now, and my life to come

I've had a lot to think about this week. I think it is time for yet more changes.
It is scary to think that my life no longer has a clear path... other than being Drake's Mom (and a nurse *squee*), everything else is up in the air. I don't even know if I will ever marry again. The thought of that makes me sick to my stomatch... and if I thought about it enough; I could probably barf. I have some major healing to do before that even becomes a possibility on my ten year outlook.... if at all.

Even four months ago, I would tell you that I would be a stay at home Mom until D was in school, Richard's wife forever, and a nurse or logistics agent at some point.

What four months can change is intense. I love a plan, with annotated and color coded check lists, maps and coordinates, timeline, you name it. I don't have one now... I just have this breath in my chest... and this week's check to cash.

what does the future hold for me? Hell if I know.